Mums have found Instagram. Run!

I know this because my parents now have a shared account. Yep ... Shared. This is the first sign of the apocalypse.
Not only do they have an account but they are completely obsessed with it.
Sitting around the table at lunch last weekend both of them were in their element snapping away, posting pics, refreshing the feed for likes. Hey parents! That’s OUR schtick!
On the odd occasion when they did have their heads up, it was to share a running commentary on who they follow and who follows them. What a thrilling conversation it was for everyone involved.
Some favourites from my mother’s mouth included:
“Bridget from work always likes my pictures!”
“Nathan! Stop being silly and smile properly! I want a photo of you and the good cutlery!”
“The one of me in front of my new kitchen tiles got 37 likes last week!”
“Nathan, why haven’t you followed me back?” I follow you!!”
We’ve seen this behaviour before. Facebook changed forever after mums got on board. For some reason most dads were never too keen on the old facey — but mums? My God. They got among it — and then ruined it.
It happened in two phases.
PHASE ONE: COMMENT BOMBING
It went down like this.
Your mate Trevor got smashed and pooed his pants on the weekend. The pic is uploaded to Facebook. Your crew lose their minds. So many likes, so many comments.
It’s all going off until Trevor’s mum, Gill, gets among it “TREVOR I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT THIS!!” she would type.
Stumps is called. No more comments from anyone. It’s all over. Thanks, Gill.
PHASE TWO: MUM MEMES
After figuring out how to friend request every human that you have ever met in your life, mums have somehow learnt to share memes.
And share they do. Are they funny memes? No. They are what I call “Mum memes”
We all click accept to our friend’s mum’s friendship because it’s the polite thing to do. And as usual, manners ruin everything.
Facebook has changed. You don’t communicate much on there anymore. You log on and scroll through a feed to find the latest Jimmy Fallon clip. But first you have to jump into the sea of Mum Memes to get there.
Mums have now found Instagram. Go forth and warn the masses. The end is nigh. They’re multiplying.