Take your own inventory

One of the truly miserable things about having been wronged, is how much time you can spend thinking about it. How could this happen? Why did she do that to me? How can he live with himself? Will she ever apologise? You can literally spend years of your life obsessing about the terribleness of other people.
If you can take some time to focus on your own shortcomings, they can help you find the real silver lining in your cloud of despair. We don’t always have a choice about what happens to us, but we always have a choice about how we respond. Maybe you’re guilty, ashamed or frightened by how you reacted to your tragedy. Maybe you were partly responsible. Maybe you let yourself down or foolishly left yourself open. Maybe you didn’t see it coming because you were refusing to look. Maybe your only failing was a belief that it couldn’t possibly happen to you.
If you can be honest about your own part, however small, in your story of wrongdoing, it can help you begin to make peace with the future. Taking responsibility for how you’ve acted can give you a sense of agency and can help to renew a sense of hope that the future you’re building isn’t going to be determined by your past.